I’m an avid self help book reader, something about being repeatably told to believe in yourself and motivational approaches to life get’s me feeling like I can take on anything. However, too much of anything can become damaging and there is a such thing as too much self help advice/programming.
Self help books have one goal in mind,
Too make the reader or listener feel as if he or she is on top of the world. That the power to succeed at love, work and/or life is within the individuals power of belief.
I agree that every person should be at the top of their world and should believe every day they have the power to create an amazing life. Yet, it can become a delusion when it’s also believed that anything but elated feelings of power and happiness is a sign of going “down hill”.
I noticed this within myself one day sitting at my favorite Starbucks when the most beautiful woman drove up with a shiny BMW.
She walked in grabbing everyone’s attention including my own, I couldn’t help the feeling of envy come over me; envy is the desire to covet someone else’s looks or possessions.
Feeling this emotion made me upset, I began wishing I never saw her. I became frustrated and distracted thinking; after all this self work and getting my self to this place why can’t I look like that or ride in a BMW? I even went so far as too getting jealous over a theoretical situation of my partner wanting her…at least I’m honest.
I’m aware of the fact that material goods do not equate to happiness, but what I want to keep the focus on is believing that anything besides “positive” emotions mean all the work done went to shit.
Jealousy and envy are two of the most commonly felt emotions, worldwide I doubt there’s one person who can’t relate to wanting to have what someone else has.
Self help books only go so far to explain what a happy life consists of. A happy life is also accompanied with sadness and uncomfortable feelings that don’t always need to be dug into and lead to profound discoveries.
Sometimes it’s just as simple as she’s really pretty, has a nice car, I want that too and instead of being envious and feeling shitty about myself. Maybe this moment is a moment of inspiration, if that BMW never showed up I would of never realized how much I would like that car. If she never crossed my path I wouldn’t of felt the motivation to do better with my appearance.
That’s the power of transcendence
— self help books give new information to implant or new beliefs to convince ourselves of.
But not the information on how to change the day to day uncomfortable NORMAL feelings we all have. That’s where deep changes takes place, accepting the honest feelings that come up and working some magic on them. This is how: