There’s a lot of blindsides found in love relationships. As un-healed aspects of self rise up from below the surface and make themselves known
Sometimes it’s not the relationship with our partner but the lack of understanding yourself. Unresolved emotions tend to come up for air in the middle of love relationships because love is a reflection.
We only accept the love we believe we deserve. If you’ve found yourself doubting, fearing and becoming anxious about your current relationship its always an opportunity to look deeper into the relationship with yourself to find out the reason you are not happy, so it doesn’t repeat itself. We all deserve to be in a loving, healthy and balanced relationship; however, we don’t like to admit the fact that we must achieve that in the relationship with ourselves first.
Here are four patterns in relationships that follow people who fear to let love penetrate their lives.
1. In all past relationships, a significant complaint is giving too much but receiving too little.
This is a valid reason for concern; however, if it has been a matter in every relationship, it’s likely there’s a significant issue that’s deeper than your partner. It’s easy to place blame and believe he/she is causing these feelings. However, that’s a lack of responsibility and avoiding the work required to understand “why” behind those feelings.
— Maybe you’re giving too much and refuse to receive.
— Maybe you feel that to be worthy of the love you have to prove it to your partner continually.
— Maybe your afraid that if you don’t stop giving your all, you will be left alone. These all point to more prominent, more profound issues that need light to be resolved.
2. Feeling scared to speak up about how you think and feel.
If you are afraid of being left if you speak your truth that is a red flag that your relationships will become one-sided due to the temptation to be passive.
There’s a fine line between compromise and downright passivity when we put the pressure on ourselves to be solely responsible for keeping the peace.
We’ll begin to hide our true feelings and thoughts, slowly blurring ourselves out of our own relationship. Losing ourselves along the way and the relationship ends up becoming our primary identity.
3. The belief someone is doing you a favor by being with you
Put the time and effort to realize how much you bring to someone’s life, you aren’t an object, your a living breathing person with an entire life ahead of you.
With the capability to bring love, acceptance, and forgiveness into someone’s life. In no way are you ever doing someone else a favor by being in their life.
Spending time alone to learn about yourself; finding your unique qualities and purpose will help brighten your eyes to the beautiful complex, deserving being you are.
4. Constantly questioning yourself and feelings
I think it’s important to be aware that the primary responsibility is taking care of the self.
I used to question my own feelings and keep it repressed by looking at things from my partner’s side. After a while, I realized that I was trying to keep the peace by staying quiet. I started to feel like my relationship revolved around my partner and had nothing to do with me.
When I built my self-confidence by filling my life up with me and detached myself from finding sole fulfillment in my relationship. I became empowered, and so did my words and choices in my life.