I like to point out misguided information about love in main stream society that cause us to unknowingly attract undesirable relationships/experiences.

Social media, movies , music and general culture has given a ton of advice about love. Unknowingly, we eat it up and the cycle of emotionally unfulfilling relationships with insanely high exceptions begins.

First some basic psychology

We hear/see affection all over social media and think “I’d like that some day” and our brain grabs the information offered in order to attain it. It goes unnoticed that our brain tirelessly works to bring this desire into reality.

The more we pump this desire bubble up with meme’s, stories and hashtags we go into even more of an emotional frenzy, trying too find what we think is love but really it’s an image. The brain knows no difference and will co-create what ever you desire, if it’s an image you want, it’s an image you will get but that is all

Second, some truth

The worst part of it is this desire is being created from a place of lack.

Social media is a professional at giving you reason’s why you shouldn’t be satisfied with yourself or the life you live. The real reason we want to replicate these images is because:

  • The negative feeling of “needing” that is triggered when scrolling by.
  • Comparing our current life and the image in less than a millisecond and realizing we are “without” this “love”.
  • The misrepresentation of what love really is and assuming that these people in these images have found what YOUR looking for. Every single person is different in a myriad of ways, love will not be the same to you as it is to someone else.
  • Lack of self understanding and therefor not defining what love means/feels too you. Which will make it easy to influence your beliefs into what love is “supposed” to be.
  • Understanding that any, ANY, of your needs can be filled by yourself because you are innately worthy.
  • We are a generation slowly losing what true emotional connection means and replacing it with idolized images. Rising the lack within and causing an unquenchable thirst of social media highs and lows.

It’s the reason men are more focused on making money than their emotional health. Because they believe if they are “successful” they will be able to attain this image of “love”. Instead what ends up happening is we have a bunch of toxic or emotionally unhealed men stuck in a rat race. Blinded by the fact that money will not make them any more lovable. If they learned to love themselves first then they will realize their innate deservingness.

It’s the reason women are obsessed with their appearance and get implants, butt injections or suffer with emotional disorders, from comparing themselves to the women on social media who have seemingly aesthetically perfect relationships. Blinded to the fact that their appearance will not get them closer to love either, it’s only through self acceptance and self love.

Third, the common outcome

After all the months, maybe years, of building desire from a place of lack. Comparing yourself to images, coming up with hurtful reasons why your still single and counting the flaws you have compared to insta models.

When a relationship comes by it’s almost impossible to keep it afloat with the blinding level of insecurity and high emotional expectations unknowingly placed on partners. It’s hard to give love when there is none to give and neither party feels they deserve it, what’s left to do? Take pictures full of affection and settle for the approval of other’s maybe?

Finally, some food for thought

Affection is a small percentage of what love is about.

It isn’t the land its built on (understanding of ones self), the wood used (trust), the windows (communication) or even the door to get inside (self love). Affection (the couch), intimacy (the fireplace) and memories (pictures on the wall) are all possible once a house is BUILT.


In order to build a strong house you need experience and knowledge. This experience is gained by building your own house first and filling it with the same things for yourself. The knowledge is knowing how to maintain your house, even if your building one with someone else you never permanently leave your own.

There’s a lot of people walking around not understanding why they feel so homeless inside and it’s because no one, including them, have stopped to build this safe place. They’ve used all their material trying to build one for someone else or begging for other people to provide them the material to build one for themselves.

Let’s stop this cycle.

Posted by:thesilentchange

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