My sexuality is still a work in progress and the work is mainly dealing with shame.


From the young age of eight I was exposed to sex and became fascinated with it. Closely related to art, unique to each individual and a source of power. There’s women/men out there who are bold enough to accept their natural sexual nature as a source of creation and power. They refuse to oppress themselves or succumb to shameful memories that tell them they are “less than” or “wrong” for expressing themselves.

I’m not only referencing to socialites but also the transgenders who have created their own sexual identity from nothing, homosexuals/heterosexuals whom discovered with diligence what turns them on or the MeToo healing movement which helped millions, including myself, release burdening memories of sexual harassment/rape.

My personal creative sexual nature still remains allusive to me. As I watch many other’s on their way to empowerment I feel that I’m still standing on the side lines waiting for my turn, waiting for answers.

Enough of that, if you haven’t read my listicle yet in which I list out the thing’s I’ve had enough of it’s a pretty great read that ties in with this one.

Here are a few changes I am making too take my power back and create the sexual relationship with myself that I desire :

  • Facing my fears and viewing myself as sexy and desirable. It’s one thing to be complimented on appearance by outsiders but it’s different to achieve this recognition from MYSELF. Scrolling through social media it feels like I’ve been entered into a beauty competition without my consent. I want to regard myself as the sexiest woman in my world and that involves no one’s validation or likes.
  • Masturbating with the intention of enjoying my body and building personal passion. I want to enjoy my body just as much as my partner and I believe by achieving that satisfaction within outside opinions wouldn’t have nearly as much power as they currently do.
  • Being open and honest about my desires and explorative thoughts. Shame can cause the feeling of being wrong or disgusting for wanting something new and different. My answer to shame — I have this life and this body not to repress it but to enjoy it.
  • Taking care of the physical body with diet and exercise. Falling in love and finding sexiness isn’t a easy process and requires honesty that where I am isn’t particularly where I want to be. I may find myself attractive but I know with diligent maintenance and attention I can find an empress within that’s never been revealed.

Happy sex, is good sex.

Loving sex, is the best sex.

Everyone’s journey to finding their unique niche of sexual expression is different and these pointers are what resonates with me personally. However, as a beginner on this journey I am open to hear the suggestions of other’s.

What have you found to be the main obstacle when it comes to accepting and empowering your own sexuality?

What’s your personal story? if you’d like to share I’d love to listen. I believe we are all interconnected and have more in common than we’d like to admit.

Posted by:thesilentchange

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