I find it interesting that at a time where so many people are expressive, so many people also feel granted the right to judge.
Right or wrong, claiming a right to judge ourselves and other’s as if we have been handed down magical authority over other’s.
In my few years of dating and observing love relationships I see this to be a hindrance on love shared rather than nurturing support. Our tendency to judge another’s actions may be more selfishly rewarding and pleasurable than we’d like to admit. I think this pleasure and reward is what’s clouded the reality that judging does not help the situation change beneficially for either party longterm.
Finds subconscious satisfaction in assuming temporary authority over an individual, giving him/her invisible rights to choose what is “wrong” or “right” for another. Even with the intent to help guide a loved one in the right direction. It can not be denied that it feels “good” to point out what we see as right or wrong, it feels “good” temporarily until it’s lost it’s validation and the individual disagrees, which is likely.
Finds subconscious unease by assuming he/she is incapable of making right choices for themselves temporarily. Depending on the judged mental and emotional strength he/she can take this judgment deeply and at times be thrown off from their original course. Until the mind kicks in to defend itself and the suggested point of view is rejected. The speed of this process is dependent on the judged individuals self awareness level.
The Fine Line Between Expressing Concern and Judging
Expressing concern requires self awareness, one must realize that what he/she considers right or wrong is ONLY what HE/SHE considers. This is not true for the masses nor their partner. This is an opportune time to reflect on why you see this as “wrong” for your own opportunity at self growth and also understand your partner from an entirely new angle.
The respect should be given that we are capable of gaging what is right and wrong for us as individuals. Instead of taking this job on for your partner, staying within the perimeters of self and making sure YOU are okay seems to reap more longterm rewards.
Abuse is WRONG : in any situation where one party is being harmed intentionally the situation is wrong. Anything that is harmful to YOUR world is WRONG for you and should be treated accordingly.