I lived in the shadows a majority of my life, in fact, wasn’t aware the light existed until my twenties. After years of consistent abuse and mental/emotional trauma the dark was all I knew and to be honest I was satisfied with it.
As I got older I realized that not only did I live in the darkness but my shadow self-had much more control over my reality. I didn’t have the ability to influence my thoughts and actions as much as I wanted to and the pain became harder to bare every day. I started to fear for my own life which is what lead me to a spiritual breakthrough and awakening journey.
Along with this journey, I’ve heard many spiritual advisor’s speak on the shadow self as if it’s an aspect that need’s to be destroyed or a burden to be released completely. I never resonated with that, it wasn’t my truth and I know many other’s who’s shadow self is so expansive that it isn’t so simple to just kill it off nor is it fair. My shadow self-protected me from the environment I lived in, if it wasn’t for that side of me I don’t know if I would have ever found the light I currently have.
With that being said during the awakening process the shadow self can become triggered especially if it was a massive aspect of your original life. The shadow self is aware that through this journey you will see through its illusions and it will lose its control over your life. However, beginning a war to destroy that side of yourself will deem unnecessary and energetically draining. It will become such a large focus that the light experience will be dimmed. It’s important to remember there’s no aspect of yourself that is intentionally trying to make you miserable, the shadow self-was built to protect you out of pure self-love. Because of the pain, you experienced this pure love may feel painful but beneath it, all is self-love within this awakening you want to approach healing yourself with LOVE, ALWAYS.
So, how do you get your shadow self under some sort of control? How do you adjust this aspect so that it no longer hinders you?
This is shadow work and it is a beautiful deep experience not all of us get to experience. Here are three major steps to take and a perspective adjustment that will allow you not only heal this shadow but reach wholeness within yourself.
1. Understand Your Shadow Self
Imagine your shadow self as the child version of you that is screaming out in pain because that’s really what it is. The deepest part of you, the rawest of your pure nature has been scared by experiences in your life and that little girl/guy is dedicated to making sure it never happens again.
Now is that something you want to destroy? Of course not, it’s hurtful to think of the child version of you NEVER FEELING WANTED…EVEN BY YOU.
This younger side of you doesn’t understand what love and light are and you becoming an awakening wise individual it becomes your job to teach that person FIRST. Your child self-becomes the first student of your light, you want to pour love into yourself. This is a journey on its own because if you have a shadow side that has had a lot of control, that is a sign that self-love may not be something you know how to do consistently. Here is how to start:
Get to know the signs of your child self-needing you
this requires effort and it’s not always easy because this shadow can be needy sometimes. When your thoughts and emotions are negatively triggered stop what you are doing. Find a place to be alone and start speaking to yourself, ask your inner child, “whats wrong?” “What’s going on?” “How can I help?” Use the wisdom you presently have to assist and this wisdom will grow exponentially with this practice. (Journal these experiences you can track the change)
Example. Talking to my TF I get triggered and begin to cry I start having thoughts that I’m unworthy and emotions of anger and pain arise. I leave the room calmly and go to my car and begin to ask myself. You will really get a response like “I feel like I’ll never find love” “why does no one want me” etc. Now on this awakening journey, we know this is totally false and I would respond as follows: “that is not true, this a part of a larger journey and I love you more than you’ll ever understand. We are love, we cultivate it and create it. We don’t need anyone else to prove that worth to US” (notice how I use “WE” and “US” to eliminate my inner child feeling left out) and that’s the child self and higher self-conversion.
Spend A LOT of time with your inner child
This is the epitome of self-healing and it’s a self-driven process that only you can do. Spend time with yourself and really talk to yourself, this is how I opened up my channeling. Your higher self is merging to have a larger impact on your life and speaking with your shadow will make this process easier. You’ll notice your inner child begins to trust you and as self-trust grows your shadow releases it’s constant need for control because it no longer feels threatened.
2. Take Care Of Yourself
This journey is the equivalent of proving to a very hurt child that they can trust your decisions. Just like anyone, actions speak louder than words. This is when you merge your knowledge into your life and make actions towards creating a healthier lifestyle. Make sure to do the following:
What you put in your body is the first place of abundance manifestation so it’s no wonder that the shadow self USUALLY craves foods that aren’t healthy, this is coming from a place of lack consciousness. Feed your body, have fun with this, look up veganism and get into making recipes lead by example. Show your inner self what loving and self-care feels like. Make this a new healthy hobby for yourself and become dedicated, as you feel healthier and your inner child feels the effects this another step of releasing its hold.
Child Self “I see you taking care of me, I trust you.”
Adopt Healthier Habits
If you are a casual drinker, smoker, emotional eater or any other vices that put you back into a shadow aspect then it’s time for a change. This is harder at first but over time again you will feel the amazing benefits and release more.
Child Self “You are protecting me, I trust you”
3. The Big Release/Integrating Fully With Shadow
If your shadow self has been created from a traumatic childhood this step is where you give yourself what you’ve always needed. Usually, this process will force you into solitude because it’s a very deep journey of inner light/shadow work. Becoming vulnerable with your shadow self after step one and two (because you’ve established trust) is a healing experience on its own. When you yourself break down be open about how scared, worried or hurt you are.
(Make sure where this opening takes place is high vibration. White sage, Florida water baths with crystals, candles, and intention to heal. Because your energy will be so open and subconscious mind will be starting to release you don’t want to have any interference.)
Open up to yourself in the privacy of your own home this may take a few tries before a massive release but it will happen. It may start because of the trigger and this will be divinely planned when it’s time to really connect, understand, heal, love and release your inner child to evolve. When you follow the first two steps you will get the downloads and information to be ready to handle this the correct way, this is how mines went and I suggest using it as a baseline.
A deep trigger, I knew it was time to walk away from my old life. After living in step one and two and internal love and healing intention situations arose that it was time to walk away from the old mold. The situation walking away triggered so many emotions that I intuitively knew it’s time to release these emotions
Because your higher self-has more impact on your actions you won’t feel the urge to act on these emotions instead you will sit with them. For me, I cried for weeks and had to call out of work and stay home. Please, please, do what your higher self asks you at this time because you literally embody your child self and be taking care of him/her from a higher place. I would take spiritual baths sometimes twice a day, I did smoke weed through this as well but ask guidance before adding anything in. I suggest staying away from most people that are from your shadow place I couldn’t talk to my family very much during this. It will feel like you just lost your mind but trust the light will shine again and it’s a very beautiful intimate experience
Change is Inevitable
The end of the process 😃 You’ve now released your shadow wounds and transmitted this pain into light and healing. For me I wasn’t able to go back to work I packed my bags and moved to Hawaii and changed my life around. Fear, jealousy and all attachments disappeared from the memories that used to provoke negative emotions no longer did. I can have a memory or explain a traumatic story without the emotions. It will be different for everyone but this is a process you want to act on as soon as you can.
FYI: Trust yourself, don’t run yourself, take notes and talk to yourself more than anyone else. You may think you know yourself but you don’t and it is a gift to have a shadow self. It really is although you may see it as a burden right now that little child just needs someone and that someone is divinely guided to be YOU. My child self now I created a sunny place for in my meditation and she lives free there full of light.