It’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any. — Hugh Laurie
For three months I told myself and everyone that I was moving to Hawaii. I planned to move in January then February which lead to March and April. Every time I was hyped and ready to go something clanked onto my heart strings and stopped me in my tracks.
Eventually, people stopped listening to me talk about moving and I fell into place and stopped bringing it up. Then it dawned on me, the reason I wasn’t moving wasn’t simply fear it was because moving to Hawaii surpassed my happiness cap by thousands.
“Who do you think you are moving out to Hawaii. That’s too much contentment, just too much happiness”. So great, I’m stuck with another stagnating belief system that is bent on making me believe I can’t be happier than I already was (even though I wasn’t happy).
My happiness cap settles in relationships and accepts whatever people give. It didn’t go past leaving those toxic relationships and loving myself or finding my self else where. It definitely didn’t go past leaving the state where all my healing and trauma took place in order to grow some more solid roots elsewhere. Because the happiness cap is your ego’s best friend.
They are besties without a doubt, the ego’s purpose is to protect you from the pain you went through years maybe decades ago that isn’t happening right now. The happiness cap is the backup fence when you’ve bypassed the ego. The happiness cap is a brick wall of self-inflicted fear and reminders of past failures.
Once I realized all that was left was getting above what I believed to be my limit of allowed happiness, that’s when the real life change began.
I reflected and found patterns of all the missed opportunities because I allowed fear to drag me back to what I knew, what no longer worked. Time after time I’ve let this cap convince me now isn’t the time or everything isn’t where it needs to be yet and I would drop my head down and drag my feet back to my comfort zone to wait another year or so.
Well, this time I tried something new, I decided to walk up this cap and flip the script:
“Who do YOU think you are to tell me I can’t go after what I want. Do you know who I AM?” (I really say this stuff out loud)
Instead of letting my head be filled with worry and fear I spoke back about how ambitious, strong and intuitive I am to make anything work out in my favor. How silly it is to struggle to make something that doesn’t work, work rather than go after what my heart is really singing for whether I fall flat on my face or not.
There isn’t a heartbreak I haven’t lived through, a disappointment that permanently destroyed my life or a traumatic experience that’s kept me lock in depression prison. So what rationale is behind this soul-crushing fear?
None, absolutely zero rationales.
If your ready to take the leap and can’t seem to get it out of your heart then go. It’s scary because it is new, but fear is a sign of moving towards something you truly love. (Unless it’s in regards to another person, this article is geared towards people who are making a change with themselves only.)
I realized I didn’t have fear when it came to forgiving an abusive ex or overindulging in wasting time but had fear when it came to making positive exciting life changes.
It was clear as day that the happiness cap is the comfort zones breaking point.
Be True To You — Jasmin