So here you are more lost than you’ve ever been in your entire life. Whether a breakup, loss of a job or even a bad fight with you’re family brought you here it makes no difference when you are at your lowest of lows. I’ve been there, laying on the bedroom floor surrounded by a building list of thing’s I needed to get to with no motivation to start a plan to finish it all.
After a bad break up and having to relocate, my job, school and overall life gave me no meaning. I found no purpose in what I created and because of that I didn’t know what my life was supposed to be for. I exhausted myself emotionally and mentally from trying my hardest to get my boyfriend back and ultimately was left sitting here with nothing but myself, whom I didn’t know at all. I knew I had to get up as heavy as these burdens were I knew I had to start anew and these are 10 way’s I pulled myself out the hell hole of rock bottom.
- STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING
Whatever your doing whether it’s texting your ex, going out partying, negative self-talk or sleeping all day, it’s time to stop. It hasn’t gotten you anywhere so far and the results won’t change.
2. DURING PAIN WE RUN TO WHAT WE KNOW, GOOD OR BAD
It is impossible for us to know anything outside of what we already know a.k.a comfort zone. A rock bottom is a wake-up call to step out of your comfort zone hence number one. Now accept that the reason you want to eat junk food, call up your ex or drink is that this is all you know. These actions are going to stop bringing you comfort which will eventually make you feel like your world is falling apart, that’s what it’s meant to do. So realize this rock bottom is meant to cause a huge shift in your life and nothing may be the same.
3. YOU’VE MANIFESTED THIS SHIFT
As uncomfortable and downright terrible this may feel somewhere along the lines you manifested change in your life. You may have thought it was going to look like roses, fresh green grass and riding into your new life on a unicorn but here it is. The biggest changes, healing, and transformations are ugly, cold and uncomfortably true our first instinct is to run but there is nowhere to run. It is your time, this is what you want even if it feels like the complete opposite, relax into it.
4. START DOCUMENTING THE EXPERIENCE
This was the only coping mechanism I had and many other’s had as well. Now that I couldn’t drink or smoke away from my worries or sex away my fear’s I found that documenting what was happening helped the most. It will be great to look back when you make it to the finish line and remember all the crazy shit that happened when you’re identity was literally falling apart.
5. LET GO WITH GRACE AND LOVE
Hardest lesson in life is to learn how to let go when the expiration date has been reached. Whether that’s a relationship, friendship, family member or an entire part of your identity. When you get the signal it’s time, which usually feels extremely uncomfortable, just let it go. Thing’s that aren’t apart of your new life will drop away, whatever you do don’t try to chase or hold on because it will hurt a lot more while you’re new life is coming in. If you find yourself completely alone, rest assure it won’t be forever.
6. PLEASE, TRY TO EAT HEALTHY
I was a vegan health nut before my rock bottom came, you couldn’t convince me to take a bite of a Mcdouble. When I found myself flat on my face all my old comfort’s came within reach and the next thing I knew my back seat was covered in McDonald and Wendy’s wrappers with no regrets. If you find yourself craving and hoarding down junk food it’s because your looking for comfort a.k.a familiarity. Whether it’s bad or good like I said previously you will want to do it because it’s the closest thing you have to what you know. Try you’re hardest to stay away from unhealthy food’s because they naturally will affect your energy, emotions and mental process.
7. ONE STEP AT A TIME
I’ve never felt as heavy and hopeless than this time in my life but I also knew I was the only one capable of getting myself out of it. I started with promising/forcing myself to study one hour a day and waking up an hour early before work. Even if I just sat around for that hour it was a habit I eventually wanted to turn into going to the gym but I wasn’t ready to commit to ALL that just yet. So I used that hour to study, read or do absolutely nothing until it started to become a habit.
8. REMEMBER THIS IS YOUR MOMENT OF CREATION
The solitude, silence, and emptiness is an opportunity to find what your ideal life feels like. This is the moment you come up with new plans, new passions, and new opportunities to pursue because you have jack shit right now going for you (no offense). When everything you knew has been snatched away it’s now up to you to piece together the new identity and life you’ve always wanted. No more restrictions, no more responsibilities or fears to answer too, this is your time.
9. DROP YOUR PRIDE
This isn’t a time to focus on “winning” or “revenge” and this is dedicated to the people that have been hurt by someone. If you’ve done wrong to someone get over yourself and apologize even if that person hurt you too. The last thing you need right now is any old baggage or negative ways of being to follow you into this new life. The hardest part of my journey was not only accepting my relationship was over but the way it ended and apologizing for my part in it without receiving an apology back. But guess what, once I apologized I was able to let it go in peace and know that it was meant to happen the way it did. I left no stone unturned and nothing unsaid, my ex-knew how I felt and that I accepted the challenge ahead of being independent.
10. GIVE YOURSELF TIME AND SELF COMPASSION
You aren’t going to wake up one day totally healed or just on your shit. You will collapse sometimes, you will feel sad somedays but you WILL keep moving forward. Emotions are clearing out right now and you need to have compassion for yourself and keep in mind how strong you are going through this, you will get through this. You will turn back and see how far you come when the day comes that you are officially past it all. It took me a solid two months to actually get up and do something productive, in those two months I thought I was going to get kicked out of college, live a life of emotional misery and ultimately let life pass me by. Then I had a long talk with myself and said “(insert name), my love, I know you’re hurting, but..it’s time we get up now and move on with our life. All you need is right here, we’ve survived this long and we got this, our life depends on it” and that day I wrote this article.