For 24 year’s I’ve run away from being heartbroken and always was the ex that moved on first and for the first time, i had nowhere to run. I tried masking it with Pinterest pin’s of how the future would look, I even dressed up for awhile to make myself feel better and planned “healing” weeks that consisted of staying busy. I was stuck in quicksand and kicking furiously sinking lower and lower to move on. My ex, on the other hand, would casually text me to “see how I’m doing” or send me a picture of his new wardrobe and tell me how much he’s working out and the spiral would begin again. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t keep spilling my heart out asking for another chance to be turned down so I blocked my ex from communicating with me and embraced heartache.
I ended up sitting in my car Wendy’s cheeseburger in one hand and wiping my tears with the other. The frustration, the pain, the confusion and even the painful days of being on and off in the past three years were being purged. But It feel’s good to live in you’re own skin and feel you’re own heart. It feel’s authentic to know you’re hurt and allow yourself to hurt because as long as you push it back and try to distract yourself you’re bound to not move as far as you thought. To finally sit and feel the pain and realize that you’re still living and that all that fear of it consuming you wasn’t real. Stop thinking about how you’re ex-views you due to you’re past mishap’s because as long as you give power to that S.O.B you won’t be able to see the opportunity of a new beginning right in front of you. Maybe you were a bit too emotional, maybe you did overreact to a few thing’s and maybe if you didn’t do a few thing’s you guys would still be together. Screw that biasses, you still love and care about you’re ex so understand that right now you will continue to try to find a way to sympathize with him. But have you ever wondered why he/she doesn’t do the same? If he/she really loved you and wanted to be with you they wouldn’t of turned down you’re offer of a second chance. The war is in you’re mind and heart and it’s time that you become one within yourself and realize this rejection has NOTHING to do with what you’re worth. You didn’t lose, you learned, and not all people are meant to come with us on our new journey. So grab yourself a cheeseburger block his/her number, FB and Instagram to clear your energy and feel this come crashing down. Give yourself the opportunity to heal because no one is worth your closing you’re heart off. There will come a day when you no longer think about reconciliation and someone will place a brighter smile on you’re face and that will be you.